Last night I had some work to finish up, so as I’ll often do, I popped in a movie after everyone was in bed and planted myself on the couch. I had my eye on this movie for a while and I was intrigued.
What was I Don’t Know How She Does It going to say about the roles of working mothers? Was it going to shed new light and solutions on the age old debate/question/dilema? Why I’m surprised it was one of the stupidest movie I’ve seen, I don’t know. But I guess I was hoping Hollywood would leave me at least somewhat satisfied. (That was a big, No.)
The premise is just as it sounds. Sarah Jessica Parker (who I really like as an actress…) plays a mother of two young-ish children (2 and 6) and has a job in finance that requires that she travel. A lot. So she of course gets this can’t-pass-it-up opportunity/promotion at work and tries to keep it all together before everything comes crashing down on her. Travel, work, flirting with disaster with the dashing client, bake sale, happy sex life, family vacation, etc. and so on.
The climax sort of comes and goes as she realizes that she maybe can’tdo it all and resolves the issue by telling her boss “no” for the first time. He of course, in good Hollywood fashion, has no problem with this and everyone lives happily ever after, thus skirting the entire issue…the end.
So Im left with the same questions I had before.
- Why do we women think we can…or have to…do it all?
- Isn’t it obvious that something is going to give when you try to do it all?
- Where are the husbands who need to stand up and lead their families rather than let their wives shoulder all this burden, or at least feel like they have to?
Want my opinion on the whole issue? Good.
I don’t really have an issue with women who want to have children but still have a career. I don’t think stay-at-home or work-at-home moms are somehow more virtuous mothers just for doing so. (There’s more than one way to be an absent mother.) What I do have a problem with are women who think they can do it all and everyone needs to be on board with their plan.
Guess what, honey. You can’t do it all. Someone or something will always get the short end of the stick. Your marriage. Your relationship with your kids. Your work. Your health…or your joy, for crying out loud. Maybe not now. Maybe down the road. Is it any wonder half of the marriages in the US fail and prescription drug abuse has risen by 400% in the last 10 years (via Working Woman Magazine)?
Something. Is. Wrong.
Like everything else in life, its about choices. You make your choices and you live with them. You realize you’re going to fail and you’re going to miss out on some other very good things. But that’s ok. I think its sad that society has duped us into thinking that if we don’t try to do it all that something is wrong with us. No, its the other way around, I think. It’s a sad fallacy that our generation is facing and we need to see it for what it is. Our mothers didn’t face it like we are today…its still brand new territory.
So what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Have the answer for all of us? Do share…